How to Deal with Job Rejection: 4 Ways to Stay Confident
Based on a Guest Podcast with: Elizabeth Lotardo
Elizabeth Lotardo is a consultant, writer, and training creator who has worked with leaders in over 150 organizations including Salesforce, DraftKings, Hilton, and numerous Berkshire Hathaway organizations.
Job rejection is the worst. You refresh your inbox for the 12th time, hoping for an interview update—and instead, you see the dreaded “We’ve decided to move forward with other candidates” email.
As Elizabeth Lotardo puts it in our podcast,
“Job hunting is basically emotional parkour. You’re supposed to be confident and polished and endlessly resilient while also being unemployed.”
If you’re drained, rejected, and maybe even spiraling, you’re not alone. Lotardo, author of Leading Yourself, has been there.
“Early in my career… I applied for a job that I was weirdly perfect for… I crushed the interviews… and then radio silence. Weeks later I saw that company repost the job without ever rejecting me. They just acted like I never existed, and I spiraled.”
The good news is that rejection doesn’t define you nor should it damage your job search momentum.
Here are four practical ways to deal with job rejection and stay confident during your search.
Separate the Rejection from Your Identity
The first key is realizing rejection is rarely about you.
“Job rejection feels really personal, but most of the time it’s not,” Lotardo says. “It was about internal budget shifts, random office politics, or the fact that the hiring manager’s cousin’s roommate applied last minute and oh my gosh, they’re perfect.”
It’s easy to let rejection spiral into self-doubt. But as Lotardo reminds us:
“You didn’t get the job. That doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. That doesn’t mean your career is over… It means they picked someone else. That’s it.”
Your worth isn’t determined by one recruiter’s decision. And although we know this on a logical level, emotionally we might feel differently. Remind yourself that rejection is a normal and healthy part of life and separate it from your identity.
Make a Brag List
When rejection chips away at your confidence, your brain conveniently “deletes” your accomplishments. That’s when it’s time to fight back with a brag list.
“Open your notes app and title it, Reasons I Don’t Actually Suck,” Lotardo recommends.
Write down projects you nailed, compliments you received, challenges you overcame, and skills you bring to the table.
“This isn’t an ego play, it’s evidence,” she explains. “It’s forcing your brain to remember all the hard things you’ve done before and building the muscle that you can do them again.”
Try keeping your brag list handy for networking conversations or even before an interview. It will give you confidence on the spot.
Catch the Spiral
Didn’t get the job? Suddenly your brain whispers: I’ll never get a job ever. I’m doomed. I should delete LinkedIn and move to the woods.
That’s catastrophizing—and Lotardo says the solution is to notice it, name it, and neutralize it.
“When that spiral starts, tell yourself: This is my anxiety trying to protect me. Let me focus on what I can control right now.”
That might mean sending one more application, reaching out to one more person, or simply stepping away to recharge. “Progress doesn’t always feel productive,” Lotardo reminds us. “But when your brain is more relaxed, you show up better, you come up with better ideas, you forge more authentic relationships.”
Need help getting grounded? Try our guide on how to stay motivated in your job search.
Lead Yourself
This is where real confidence is built—not when you get the offer letter, but in the waiting.
“Sometimes you just want someone else to tell you it’s going to be okay… and that’s great when it happens,” Lotardo says. “But towards the middle and the end of a job search, you have to be the one to tell that story to yourself.”
Leading yourself means deciding, especially in low moments, that you still believe in your potential. “If you wait for the world to prove your worth, you’re going to be waiting a long time,” Lotardo adds.
Instead of waiting for validation, invest in yourself: update your resume, refresh your LinkedIn profile, or work with a career coach. Treating yourself like someone worth investing in increases the odds that others will invest in you too.
Final Thoughts
Rejection hurts, but it doesn’t define you. As Lotardo says:
“If you are in dreaded rejection land right now, I want you to know this. This is where the real confidence is built—not in the offer letter, but in the waiting. Not when someone else chooses you, but when you decide to choose you anyway.”
Remember:
- Rejection isn’t personal.
- Keep a brag list of your wins.
- Catch the spiral before it grows.
- Lead yourself when it matters most.
You’ve made it through 100% of your hardest days so far—and the version of you who lands the right role will look back and thank you for not giving up.
If you’re ready to turn rejection into growth, check out everything Elizabeth Lotardo has to offer by viewing her website or ordering her book, Leading Yourself: Find More Joy, Meaning, and Opportunities in the Job You Already Have (Despite Imperfect Bosses, Weird Economies, Lethargic Coworkers, Annoying Systems, and Too Many Deliverables).